Three wins in three races - it almost looks like a repeat of the 2004 F1 season as Michael Schumacher and Felipe Massa made it a Ferrari one-two at the German Grand Prix at Hockenheim on Sunday. It was a dream win for Schumacher at his home Grand Prix in front of thousands of Tifosi supporting the Scuderia Ferrari team. With this win, Schumi has further eroded Alonso's lead in the driver's championship this year and is now only 11 points shy of the world champion. Alonso suddenly does not look like the calm, invincible juggernaut he was at the start of the season. Ferrari have put a sudden stop to Renault's & Alonso's quest for a second successive world championship. The Ferrari 1-2 has brought back memories of the era when the two scarlet cars of Schumacher and Barrichello used to race alone, far ahead of the rest of the pack. The second place result for Massa has also robbed Renault of precious points in both the drivers' and constructors' championships.
The Renault team looked a pale shadow of itself with a fifth and a sixth place finish for Alonso and Fisichella. Alonso did not look comfortable in his blue-yellow machine and never looked like challenging Schumacher. Renault will have to do some serious brainstorming and out-of-the-box thinking to stop the momentum that Ferrari have built up over the past three races. Renault top-boss Flavio Briatore seemed to be doing just that as he was seen discussing animatedly with the Michelin guy after the end of the race. It will take them more than just sheer speed to topple Ferrari's combination of speed, strategy and skills.
Another outcome of the Hockenheim race was the return to form for Kimi Raikonnen. Although a two place drop after a pole position in qualifying, he atleast managed to appear on the podium after almost a month. Raikkonen, although a brilliant driver capable of beating the world's best on his day, seemed to have been blessed with rotten luck as his McLaren Mercedes failed him on more than one occasion. Now, the battle for the third place in the driver's championship would get hotter if Raikkonen continues to finish amongst the leaders. I just hope that McLaren gets their act together and allow Raikkonen to be competitive over the remainder of the season, so that it does not end up being only a Ferrari-Renault battle.
With three successive race wins under his belt and able support from Massa and the Ferrari team, Schumi has all the momentum on his side to win more races going ahead. The action now shifts to the Hungaroring for the Hungarian Grand Prix. Lets see if Ferrari makes it four in a row and further dents Renault's chances or will Alonso rise from the ashes (or should I say the pitlane?) and stop Schumi in his tracks?
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Blocking the Blog
State of the art! This is the response you would get if you asked any of the Indian ISPs about their technology & equipment. But this term surely does not apply to their management and employees. How else would you justify the blanket blockage of the blogspot, geocities and other domains?? The recent ban on the blogging sites show that they have gone totally overboard and blocked entire domains instead of specific blogs. How difficult is it to block a handful of URLs mentioned by the Government? It looks like the ISPs have employed worthless idiots who either do not know their job or are too lazy to take the effort and have taken the easy way out. I remember another incident more than a year ago when, acting on Government instructions, they blocked Yahoo Groups in India. The motive was to block a few offending mailing lists! No lessons seem to have been learnt from that episode, it seems!!
Of course, at this point I must also invove the honourable Government of India which is so much like the police in Bollywood movies - showing up after a fight is over, to pick up the pieces. If the Govt. was really serious about preventing inflammatory and communal messages from being spread around, the blockage of the offending sites should have been done long ago! What is the point in going into a paranoid mode now and banning things left, right and center? What would be blocked next? Email? Cellphones? the Internet?? It is really strange that even though we are in a democracy, we are beginning to see Government censorship and control on the lines of China and North Korea!
The need of the hour is to use these technologies to spread the word of peace around and not to ban things! Instilling confidence in the people in times like these would be more constructive rather than adopting a defensive posture and showing that we are running scared from a handful of madmen.
Of course, at this point I must also invove the honourable Government of India which is so much like the police in Bollywood movies - showing up after a fight is over, to pick up the pieces. If the Govt. was really serious about preventing inflammatory and communal messages from being spread around, the blockage of the offending sites should have been done long ago! What is the point in going into a paranoid mode now and banning things left, right and center? What would be blocked next? Email? Cellphones? the Internet?? It is really strange that even though we are in a democracy, we are beginning to see Government censorship and control on the lines of China and North Korea!
The need of the hour is to use these technologies to spread the word of peace around and not to ban things! Instilling confidence in the people in times like these would be more constructive rather than adopting a defensive posture and showing that we are running scared from a handful of madmen.
Insanity in the name of religion!
Place: Mumbai - 11th July 2006
Time: 6:24PM - 6:35PM
7 bombs explode on suburban trains during the evening rush hour.
Around 200 people are killed and hundreds more are injured.
Only people with absolutely no trace of emotion, compassion or humanity would think of doing something like this!
This ain't no jihad or religous war as claimed by some mindless terrorists but a cold blooded massacre. A war takes place between two armies - not between armed men and unarmed, innocent civilians. No religion would condone killing of innocent people in the name of religion. This is terrorism at its worst! Planned & executed to create the maximum impact on people both physically and psychologically.
It is time for us to forget our petty differences and disputes and unite against this insanity. Let us educate and enlighten people about the need for peaceful co-existence as this is the only way we as a nation can progress and re-claim our position as the most admired country on the planet.
Time: 6:24PM - 6:35PM
7 bombs explode on suburban trains during the evening rush hour.
Around 200 people are killed and hundreds more are injured.
Only people with absolutely no trace of emotion, compassion or humanity would think of doing something like this!
This ain't no jihad or religous war as claimed by some mindless terrorists but a cold blooded massacre. A war takes place between two armies - not between armed men and unarmed, innocent civilians. No religion would condone killing of innocent people in the name of religion. This is terrorism at its worst! Planned & executed to create the maximum impact on people both physically and psychologically.
It is time for us to forget our petty differences and disputes and unite against this insanity. Let us educate and enlighten people about the need for peaceful co-existence as this is the only way we as a nation can progress and re-claim our position as the most admired country on the planet.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
The clash of the Titans!!
The semi-finals are over and the battle-lines for the final are drawn!
After fighting through against lesser and on occasion better opponents, Italy and France have managed to enter the finals of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. The way these sides played throughout the tournament has been contrasting - Italy playing good football consistently whereas France starting slow and picking up their game during the knockout stages. However, if their performances during the semi-finals is an indicator of things to come, the final promises to be one hell of a contest...
In their semi-final clash against Germany, Italy came across as a determined and focussed team. Their tackling was superb and passing was immaculate. The way they snatched the ball from the Germans showed that the side meant business and set the tone for the entire match. The Germans on the other hand were playing a safe and subdued game. It looked as if they had set their sights on a penalty shootout right from kick-off. All seemed to go well for the Germans when suddenly during the 119th minute during the second extra-time a brilliant goal by Grosso left the Germans shell-shocked. Before they could even recover from the goal and think about scoring an equaliser in the last couple of minutes of the match, Del Piero sent another one to the back of the net to hand Italy a 2-0 victory over Germany and a place in the finals. After dominating throughout the tournament it was sad to see a good side lose in the dying moments of a closely fought match. The German team and the fans however took it in their stride and showed that they weren't bad losers like Argentina!!
The second semi-final saw a resurgent France taking on a charged-up Portugal. Portugal having got the better of England during the quarter finals looked eager to take on the former world champions - a side filled with ageing players. Of course, a point to note was that France had Zenedine Zidane amongst their ranks, who showed that age does not matter in their previous encounter against Brazil. Zizou as he is popularly called played sublime football and his passes were as good as they come. The match was evenly contested till the 33rd minute, when Zidane scored through a penalty and put the Portugese on the back foot. France had drawn first blood and they held their nerve through the 90 minutes and put an end to the Portugal dream run. Les Bleus as they are called were on their way to Berlin for a clash against Italy on Sunday - August 9th.
Some snippets to chew on till August 9th
1) Italy have made the World Cup finals every 12 years from 1970 and are three time winners
2) France have won once - on home soil in 1998
3) Italy have Alessandro Del Piero, Francesco Totti and Luca Toni in their ranks
4) France have Patrick Vieira, Thiery Henry and the grand old man - Zidane in their ranks.
5) Buffon looks like a better keeper than Barthez
6) Its almost time for Zidane to hang up his boots and he would love to make a mark in his final World Cup.
7) On current form, Italy look a better equipped side but on their day France can get rid of even the best sides - ask Brazil!!
I can hardly wait for the grand finale to begin; and with Germany eliminated I will root for both the sides :-) May the best team win!!!
After fighting through against lesser and on occasion better opponents, Italy and France have managed to enter the finals of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. The way these sides played throughout the tournament has been contrasting - Italy playing good football consistently whereas France starting slow and picking up their game during the knockout stages. However, if their performances during the semi-finals is an indicator of things to come, the final promises to be one hell of a contest...
In their semi-final clash against Germany, Italy came across as a determined and focussed team. Their tackling was superb and passing was immaculate. The way they snatched the ball from the Germans showed that the side meant business and set the tone for the entire match. The Germans on the other hand were playing a safe and subdued game. It looked as if they had set their sights on a penalty shootout right from kick-off. All seemed to go well for the Germans when suddenly during the 119th minute during the second extra-time a brilliant goal by Grosso left the Germans shell-shocked. Before they could even recover from the goal and think about scoring an equaliser in the last couple of minutes of the match, Del Piero sent another one to the back of the net to hand Italy a 2-0 victory over Germany and a place in the finals. After dominating throughout the tournament it was sad to see a good side lose in the dying moments of a closely fought match. The German team and the fans however took it in their stride and showed that they weren't bad losers like Argentina!!
The second semi-final saw a resurgent France taking on a charged-up Portugal. Portugal having got the better of England during the quarter finals looked eager to take on the former world champions - a side filled with ageing players. Of course, a point to note was that France had Zenedine Zidane amongst their ranks, who showed that age does not matter in their previous encounter against Brazil. Zizou as he is popularly called played sublime football and his passes were as good as they come. The match was evenly contested till the 33rd minute, when Zidane scored through a penalty and put the Portugese on the back foot. France had drawn first blood and they held their nerve through the 90 minutes and put an end to the Portugal dream run. Les Bleus as they are called were on their way to Berlin for a clash against Italy on Sunday - August 9th.
Some snippets to chew on till August 9th
1) Italy have made the World Cup finals every 12 years from 1970 and are three time winners
2) France have won once - on home soil in 1998
3) Italy have Alessandro Del Piero, Francesco Totti and Luca Toni in their ranks
4) France have Patrick Vieira, Thiery Henry and the grand old man - Zidane in their ranks.
5) Buffon looks like a better keeper than Barthez
6) Its almost time for Zidane to hang up his boots and he would love to make a mark in his final World Cup.
7) On current form, Italy look a better equipped side but on their day France can get rid of even the best sides - ask Brazil!!
I can hardly wait for the grand finale to begin; and with Germany eliminated I will root for both the sides :-) May the best team win!!!
Schumi wins again!!
It finally happened!! And I thought that the champion in red had forgotten how to win a race. And what better place to win than the scene of the biggest fiasco Formula 1 has seen in recent times - The U.S. Grand Prix at Indianapolis. And a Ferrari 1-2 finish was the icing on the cake!!
Prelude: After four wins on the trot by Fernando Alonso, Team Renault were looking as if they would run away with the drivers championship in a hurry. One race after another - Alonso drove like a man possessed and looked like he was in a world of his own right from the start of the race right till the chequered flag. It was common to see him open up a huge gap over his opponents in the first couple of laps itself. Schumacher's performance in comparison was mediocre to say the least! The best he could manage in the last four races was a second place in the Spanish, British and Canadian events. There was no way the 37-year old champion was going to take this lying down. At the start of the weekend, no one would have given Ferrari even an outside chance of winning. However, the qualifying results on Saturday proved everyone wrong. Schumacher and team mate Felipe Massa qualified 1-2 to put Ferrari on the front row for the race on Sunday. I couldn't have been happier and hoped Schumi would break the monotonous Renault bull-run that we have been seeing this year.
Raceday: Thankfully all eleven teams finished the warm up lap and lined up on the starting grid successfully unlike last year. The five lights illuminated and went off and the race started. Schumi made a slow start allowing Massa to take the lead. Alonso made a rapid start as well & challenged his team mate Giancarlo Fisichella. Meanwhile, at the back of the grid, there was utter chaos as cars rammed into each other at the first corner to create a pile-up that took atleast half a dozen cars out of the equation including the McLarens of Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya. The ensuing safety car period meant that Schumi had to be content driving zig-zag behind Massa. Once the safety car was in, Massa showed that he is no minnow and pulled away from the rest of the pack. It looked as if Schumacher would have to play second fiddle this time to his own team mate. However, a clever pit strategy and a flying lap after the pit-stop allowed him to regain the lead. From then on, it was vintage Schumacher as he set one fastest lap time after another. Never in the entire race did Alonso look dangerous enough to challenge the Ferrari ace. Both the Ferraris kept up their pace and finally after 73 laps, Michael Schumacher crossed the chequered flag to win the 2006 US Grand Prix. Felipe Massa came in second and Renault's Giancarlo Fisichella was third.
Thus broke Renault's four race domination which frankly was becoming really boring. I can now imagine how it must have been for the other teams and their supporters during Schumacher's continuous reign over Formula 1 before Alonso took over last year! I hope Ferrari remain competitive and give Renault a real run for their money. As far as Mc Laren, Honda and the other teams are concerned, it looks like they will have to watch to watch the battle from the side-lines or should I say the pit-lane??
Prelude: After four wins on the trot by Fernando Alonso, Team Renault were looking as if they would run away with the drivers championship in a hurry. One race after another - Alonso drove like a man possessed and looked like he was in a world of his own right from the start of the race right till the chequered flag. It was common to see him open up a huge gap over his opponents in the first couple of laps itself. Schumacher's performance in comparison was mediocre to say the least! The best he could manage in the last four races was a second place in the Spanish, British and Canadian events. There was no way the 37-year old champion was going to take this lying down. At the start of the weekend, no one would have given Ferrari even an outside chance of winning. However, the qualifying results on Saturday proved everyone wrong. Schumacher and team mate Felipe Massa qualified 1-2 to put Ferrari on the front row for the race on Sunday. I couldn't have been happier and hoped Schumi would break the monotonous Renault bull-run that we have been seeing this year.
Raceday: Thankfully all eleven teams finished the warm up lap and lined up on the starting grid successfully unlike last year. The five lights illuminated and went off and the race started. Schumi made a slow start allowing Massa to take the lead. Alonso made a rapid start as well & challenged his team mate Giancarlo Fisichella. Meanwhile, at the back of the grid, there was utter chaos as cars rammed into each other at the first corner to create a pile-up that took atleast half a dozen cars out of the equation including the McLarens of Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya. The ensuing safety car period meant that Schumi had to be content driving zig-zag behind Massa. Once the safety car was in, Massa showed that he is no minnow and pulled away from the rest of the pack. It looked as if Schumacher would have to play second fiddle this time to his own team mate. However, a clever pit strategy and a flying lap after the pit-stop allowed him to regain the lead. From then on, it was vintage Schumacher as he set one fastest lap time after another. Never in the entire race did Alonso look dangerous enough to challenge the Ferrari ace. Both the Ferraris kept up their pace and finally after 73 laps, Michael Schumacher crossed the chequered flag to win the 2006 US Grand Prix. Felipe Massa came in second and Renault's Giancarlo Fisichella was third.
Thus broke Renault's four race domination which frankly was becoming really boring. I can now imagine how it must have been for the other teams and their supporters during Schumacher's continuous reign over Formula 1 before Alonso took over last year! I hope Ferrari remain competitive and give Renault a real run for their money. As far as Mc Laren, Honda and the other teams are concerned, it looks like they will have to watch to watch the battle from the side-lines or should I say the pit-lane??
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
As the rains hit Mumbai
Its that time of the year again when the rains hit Mumbai. What happens? Read on to find out:
As the rains hit Mumbai,
Everything around turns green, including the building walls from algae ;-)
Roads resemble the surface of the moon, ISRO, are you interested?
Tracks get flooded inspite of best efforts from the Railways....you feel like you're in a boat rather than a train!
Traffic jams become longer...One can walk on top of the stationary cars from Bandra right upto Andheri!
Flights get delayed....And you wait endlessly to "Simplifly" :-)
Half of Mumbai can be found at Lonavla on any given weekend!!
Chai & Bhajiyas become everyone's favourite snack....Mc Donald's & Pizza Hut be damned!!
Snails and earthworms become regular visitors; mom-in-law stays away. (hah!)
Roger Federer wins another match at Wimbledon; and Sania Mirza loses another.......
As the rains hit Mumbai,
Everything around turns green, including the building walls from algae ;-)
Roads resemble the surface of the moon, ISRO, are you interested?
Tracks get flooded inspite of best efforts from the Railways....you feel like you're in a boat rather than a train!
Traffic jams become longer...One can walk on top of the stationary cars from Bandra right upto Andheri!
Flights get delayed....And you wait endlessly to "Simplifly" :-)
Half of Mumbai can be found at Lonavla on any given weekend!!
Chai & Bhajiyas become everyone's favourite snack....Mc Donald's & Pizza Hut be damned!!
Snails and earthworms become regular visitors; mom-in-law stays away. (hah!)
Roger Federer wins another match at Wimbledon; and Sania Mirza loses another.......
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
MRF Rainday
Every year, the tyre manufacturing company - MRF publishes its predicition in the Times Of India for the start of the monsoon in Mumbai. This is popularly known as "MRF Rainday". Their idea is that people should change to MRF tyres before the MRF Rainday to ensure that their vehicles are geared for the monsoon. Great idea, except for the fact that the MRF Rainday prediction falls flat on its face every single year! :-) If the rain does not arrive even on the MRF Rainday, their ad slyly changes to announce, "You still have time to change to MRF tyres!!" Very clever ain't it?
This year too, MRF has been predicting "Rainday" in the TOI. The Rainday this year is June 4th. And as their luck would have had it, rains have hit Mumbai much before that!! Its funny because MRF has taken this in their stride and termed the rains as "passing showers". MRF Rainday still remains at June 4th, their advertisement screams!
However, proper monsoon has hit Mumbai as early as May 30th. And who better than Times of India to announce the arrival of monsoon. Hehe....
Monsoon sets over Mumbai; heavy rains predicted
So, as is the tradition, MRF Rainday has failed again! I think its best that MRF stick to what they do best - maufacture tyres rather than playing weatherman! C'mon, the Weather Bureau has been in the weather predicting business for decades now and they still haven't got it right ;-)
This year too, MRF has been predicting "Rainday" in the TOI. The Rainday this year is June 4th. And as their luck would have had it, rains have hit Mumbai much before that!! Its funny because MRF has taken this in their stride and termed the rains as "passing showers". MRF Rainday still remains at June 4th, their advertisement screams!
However, proper monsoon has hit Mumbai as early as May 30th. And who better than Times of India to announce the arrival of monsoon. Hehe....
Monsoon sets over Mumbai; heavy rains predicted
So, as is the tradition, MRF Rainday has failed again! I think its best that MRF stick to what they do best - maufacture tyres rather than playing weatherman! C'mon, the Weather Bureau has been in the weather predicting business for decades now and they still haven't got it right ;-)
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
Nothing Else Matters
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters.
Trust I seek and I find in you
Everyday for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters.
Trust I seek and I find in you
Everyday for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
and I know.....Yeah!
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters.
Trust I seek and I find in you
Everyday for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know.
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters.
Trust I seek and I find in you
Everyday for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
and I know.....Yeah!
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Quotas everywhere
What will happen if the quota system proposed by the UPA goverment is applied everywhere?
Here are a few examples:
We will have reservations for public toilets. 50% of all Sulabh Shauchalayas will be reserved for the backward classes. You better not pee in a reserved toilet or else.....
50% of coaches in local trains will be reserved too! This means 4.5 coaches in a 9 coach local and 6 coaches in a 12 coach local.
Ladies coaches will be reserved too! So, quarter of a coach will be reserved for ladies first class for backward classes. Hehe....
50% of all autorickshaws and taxis will be reserved too! These will be differently coloured for easy identification. The colour "blue" will be used to differentiate them! Rings a bell??
50% flats in a housing society will be alloted only to a person from a backward caste! And these can only be rented out to a backward caste person.
50% of rooms in all 5-star hotels will be reserved for backward classes. After all the poor people from the backward classes are also entitled to five-star luxury aren't they?
50% of all shares in an IPO will be alloted to people from the backward classes. So, companies like Reliance, ONGC, Jet Airways, etc will be half owned by the backward classes.
50% of road-space will also belong to the backward classes. You will face a stiff penalty if you dare to drive in a reserved lane!! Lol......
50% seats in all future Indian manned space missions will be reserved for people from the backward classes
With so much at stake, your caste certificate will become more important than your ration card or even passport! Speaking of which, 50% of all Indian passports granted each year will only be given to people from the backward classes!!!
Hail Arjun Singh....
Here are a few examples:
We will have reservations for public toilets. 50% of all Sulabh Shauchalayas will be reserved for the backward classes. You better not pee in a reserved toilet or else.....
50% of coaches in local trains will be reserved too! This means 4.5 coaches in a 9 coach local and 6 coaches in a 12 coach local.
Ladies coaches will be reserved too! So, quarter of a coach will be reserved for ladies first class for backward classes. Hehe....
50% of all autorickshaws and taxis will be reserved too! These will be differently coloured for easy identification. The colour "blue" will be used to differentiate them! Rings a bell??
50% flats in a housing society will be alloted only to a person from a backward caste! And these can only be rented out to a backward caste person.
50% of rooms in all 5-star hotels will be reserved for backward classes. After all the poor people from the backward classes are also entitled to five-star luxury aren't they?
50% of all shares in an IPO will be alloted to people from the backward classes. So, companies like Reliance, ONGC, Jet Airways, etc will be half owned by the backward classes.
50% of road-space will also belong to the backward classes. You will face a stiff penalty if you dare to drive in a reserved lane!! Lol......
50% seats in all future Indian manned space missions will be reserved for people from the backward classes
With so much at stake, your caste certificate will become more important than your ration card or even passport! Speaking of which, 50% of all Indian passports granted each year will only be given to people from the backward classes!!!
Hail Arjun Singh....
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Famous Bollywood one liners!
Over the years, we must have seen hundreds of Hindi blockbusters. Comedy, action, drama, tragedy, these movies have left an impact on us. Here are some of Bollywood's best known one-liners.
The Big B - Amitabh Bacchan in Shahenshah: "Rishte me to hum tumhare baap hote hain, naam hai Shahenshah!"
Amrish Puri in Mr. India: "Mogambo khush hua!"
A classic from Ajit" "Saara shehar mujhe LOIN ke naame se jaanta hain!"
A classic one from a scorned heroine that can send a shiver down a hero's spine: "main tumhaare bachche ki maa banne waali hoon!"
Big B again in Sholay: "Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?"
Amjad Khan as Gabbar in Sholay: "Jo dar gaya samjho mar gaya!"
Dharam paaji in a fit of rage: "Kutte, main tera khoon pee jaaonga!"
Doctor after emerging from an operation theater: " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"
Gabbar again: "So ja bete, so ja, nahin to Gabbar aa jaaega!"
Police inspector to villain and his henchmen: " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf se tumhe gher liya hai!"
Big B in Don: "Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai!"
Asrani in Sholay: "Hum Angrezon ke zamaane ke jailor hain!"
"Aadhe idhar jaao, aadhe udhar jaao, baaki hamare saath aao!"
One more from the Big B in Mard: "Jo mard hota hai, use dard nahi hota!"
Another classic one from a heroine: " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."
Shakti Kapoor in Andaz Apna Apna: "Mera naam hai Crime Master Gogo, aankhen nikaal ke gotiyan khelta hoon!"
Utpal Dutt to his daughter in Golmaal" Tumhari shaadi usse nahin hogi jisse tum pyaar karti ho, balki usse hogi jisse main pyaar karta hoon."
Dharam paaji again before all hell breaks loose: " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke maroonga "
This one's hilarious and my personal favourite:
Villain Ajit to one of his henchmen: Ise liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega!
Hail Bollywood!!
The Big B - Amitabh Bacchan in Shahenshah: "Rishte me to hum tumhare baap hote hain, naam hai Shahenshah!"
Amrish Puri in Mr. India: "Mogambo khush hua!"
A classic from Ajit" "Saara shehar mujhe LOIN ke naame se jaanta hain!"
A classic one from a scorned heroine that can send a shiver down a hero's spine: "main tumhaare bachche ki maa banne waali hoon!"
Big B again in Sholay: "Tumhara naam kya hai, Basanti?"
Amjad Khan as Gabbar in Sholay: "Jo dar gaya samjho mar gaya!"
Dharam paaji in a fit of rage: "Kutte, main tera khoon pee jaaonga!"
Doctor after emerging from an operation theater: " Ab Sab oopar waale key haath mein hai"
Gabbar again: "So ja bete, so ja, nahin to Gabbar aa jaaega!"
Police inspector to villain and his henchmen: " Apne aap ko police ke hawaale kar do. Police ne chaaron taraf se tumhe gher liya hai!"
Big B in Don: "Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai!"
Asrani in Sholay: "Hum Angrezon ke zamaane ke jailor hain!"
"Aadhe idhar jaao, aadhe udhar jaao, baaki hamare saath aao!"
One more from the Big B in Mard: "Jo mard hota hai, use dard nahi hota!"
Another classic one from a heroine: " Khabardaar jo mujhe haath bhi lagayaa .."
Shakti Kapoor in Andaz Apna Apna: "Mera naam hai Crime Master Gogo, aankhen nikaal ke gotiyan khelta hoon!"
Utpal Dutt to his daughter in Golmaal" Tumhari shaadi usse nahin hogi jisse tum pyaar karti ho, balki usse hogi jisse main pyaar karta hoon."
Dharam paaji again before all hell breaks loose: " Chun Chun ke maaroonga, ek-ek ko chun chun ke maroonga "
This one's hilarious and my personal favourite:
Villain Ajit to one of his henchmen: Ise liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene nahi dega aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega!
Hail Bollywood!!
Hindi phrases and their literal translations!
Hindi phrases when literally translated into English turn out to be quite funny. I am sure you must have heard of the phrase - we're like this only literally translated from hum aaise hi hain. Here are some more. Enjoy!
chori chori chupke chupke - robbery robbery secretly secretly
subah subah dimaag mat ghumaa - morning morning dont turn head
Mujhe maaloom hi nahi hai - I'm not knowing only
kuch kuch hota hai - something something happens
Mere peeche peeche mat aao - Dont come behind behind me
Tum isme apna dimaag mat daalo - Don't put your brains into this
This one's my favourite!
bhaagte bhoot ki langot pakadna - catching the underwear of the running ghost
chori chori chupke chupke - robbery robbery secretly secretly
subah subah dimaag mat ghumaa - morning morning dont turn head
Mujhe maaloom hi nahi hai - I'm not knowing only
kuch kuch hota hai - something something happens
Mere peeche peeche mat aao - Dont come behind behind me
Tum isme apna dimaag mat daalo - Don't put your brains into this
This one's my favourite!
bhaagte bhoot ki langot pakadna - catching the underwear of the running ghost
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Golden rules of Mumbai local trains!
I have been travelling on Mumbai's local trains (or EMUs as they are called technically) ever since I was 12yrs old. Those days, the travel time (to school) was limited to just 5 minutes. Later as I joined junior college, the travel time (and time of travel) increased to around 20min. When I joined engineering college, the travel time (one way!) went up to a whopping hour and a half!! These days, the travel time to work is about 30-40 min.
Anyway, the purpose behind these statistics is to give you an idea that I have done some fair amount of travelling on the Mumbai local trains and have experienced and learnt the five golden rules or truths of travelling in a Mumbai local:
1) Always allow passengers to board the train first (especially during peak hours although the instructions outside say exactly the opposite) :-)
2) Never travel in a Virar fast local to Borivali during the evening peak hours even though it stops there! You will end up getting a free unsolicited ride upto Dahisar - the next halt.
3) Board a slow train if you want to get down at a halt. Board a fast train if you want to get down between halts.
4) The popularity of roof-top travel has eliminated the need for air-conditioning!
5) The value of a First Class season pass is around four times that of a Second Class pass. The snob value of a First Class traveller however is ten times higher!! :-))
Anyway, the purpose behind these statistics is to give you an idea that I have done some fair amount of travelling on the Mumbai local trains and have experienced and learnt the five golden rules or truths of travelling in a Mumbai local:
1) Always allow passengers to board the train first (especially during peak hours although the instructions outside say exactly the opposite) :-)
2) Never travel in a Virar fast local to Borivali during the evening peak hours even though it stops there! You will end up getting a free unsolicited ride upto Dahisar - the next halt.
3) Board a slow train if you want to get down at a halt. Board a fast train if you want to get down between halts.
4) The popularity of roof-top travel has eliminated the need for air-conditioning!
5) The value of a First Class season pass is around four times that of a Second Class pass. The snob value of a First Class traveller however is ten times higher!! :-))
Friday, April 21, 2006
Indianisms
The word – “Indianism” is heard & discussed quite frequently at our office. I don’t know how many of us have heard of this term but it means the literal translation of what we speak in our regional languages into English. Although, most of us do it unknowingly, it creates quite a funny situation when speaking to Westerners. Here are some examples of what I mean.
What is your good name? (Aap ka shubh naam kya hai?)
*** Yeah like my parents gave me a good and a bad name!!
Morning morning I came here (Main subah subah yahaan aaya)
*** How many mornings were there today?
You want to install the software no? (Aap ko software install karna hai na?)
*** Do I say yes or no to that?
Can u tell me what is the exact issue you are facing today?
*** The only thing I am facing right now is this damn computer!!
My head is turned because of this (mera sar phira hua hai!!)
*** WHAT???
I am liking it very much
*** Are you still liking it??
This is the best one. One day, a tech support agent in a reputed multinational company was helping a customer connect a printer to his computer. Imagine the customer’s consternation when the agent told him,
“Please put the plug in your backside!”
What is your good name? (Aap ka shubh naam kya hai?)
*** Yeah like my parents gave me a good and a bad name!!
Morning morning I came here (Main subah subah yahaan aaya)
*** How many mornings were there today?
You want to install the software no? (Aap ko software install karna hai na?)
*** Do I say yes or no to that?
Can u tell me what is the exact issue you are facing today?
*** The only thing I am facing right now is this damn computer!!
My head is turned because of this (mera sar phira hua hai!!)
*** WHAT???
I am liking it very much
*** Are you still liking it??
This is the best one. One day, a tech support agent in a reputed multinational company was helping a customer connect a printer to his computer. Imagine the customer’s consternation when the agent told him,
“Please put the plug in your backside!”
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Pepsi TV
A few weeks ago, I saw this ad on TV about - Pepsi TV. Now, I have had my share of the "bubbly" as SRK calls it but an all new channel dedicated to the dark fizzy? What would it air? Documentaries on how cola is made? Benefits of drinking cola? Cola-Operas? Cola wrestling?
This mystery was solved today as I was sipping a bottle of what else? Pepsi.....Pepsi TV is any TV Channel you watch while sipping Pepsi!! How exciting!!! Imagine your wife watching those boring soap operas and you pop open a bottle of Pepsi and voila..........your saas bahus turn into Kareena & Priyanka and you have.....Pepsi TV!
Now just imagine the whole new range of channels you will start getting! Dukes Lemonade TV, Frooti TV, Limca TV and what not.........Damn, I won't mind watching the humble Nimbu Paani TV sometimes ;-)
Now who on earth thought of this ad campaign? Have the employees at the ad agency all gone one strike? Or is it a covert attempt by Sprite at espionage to create havoc in its competitor's camp? How soon before the "Clear Hai" drink comes up with another one-upping take on this one?
Yeh dil surely doesn't maange more!!
This mystery was solved today as I was sipping a bottle of what else? Pepsi.....Pepsi TV is any TV Channel you watch while sipping Pepsi!! How exciting!!! Imagine your wife watching those boring soap operas and you pop open a bottle of Pepsi and voila..........your saas bahus turn into Kareena & Priyanka and you have.....Pepsi TV!
Now just imagine the whole new range of channels you will start getting! Dukes Lemonade TV, Frooti TV, Limca TV and what not.........Damn, I won't mind watching the humble Nimbu Paani TV sometimes ;-)
Now who on earth thought of this ad campaign? Have the employees at the ad agency all gone one strike? Or is it a covert attempt by Sprite at espionage to create havoc in its competitor's camp? How soon before the "Clear Hai" drink comes up with another one-upping take on this one?
Yeh dil surely doesn't maange more!!
The Start
Hey All,
I finally decided to create my own blog and this is my first post. Bouquets and brickbats are welcome.........Bouquets, I'll keep but beware of the brickbats because I am gonna throw them back at you :-)
So here I am sitting at the office on a Wednesday night and penning err.. keying my thoughts. I actually spent twenty minutes thinking about what I would name this blog. All my bright ideas were already taken by someone else and for a moment I thought that I would name it as "No Name" but sadly - that was taken as well :-(
Was in the cafeteria sometime back and India has just won the second ODI against Pakistan at Abu Dhabi. The 2 match series ended at a score of 1-1. Is it just me or was this scoreline decided in advance?? Inzamam was run-out for probably the trillionth time in his career. . . . Has someone ever thought of awarding the poor guy a Guiness or atleast a Limca record for the highest number of run outs??
So, coming back to this blog, whats it gonna be about? Well stray words (& sentences & paragraphs) from my imagination, memory and basically anything that I come across. So if you don't have something better to do with your time, drop in........it won't hurt......much!!!
I finally decided to create my own blog and this is my first post. Bouquets and brickbats are welcome.........Bouquets, I'll keep but beware of the brickbats because I am gonna throw them back at you :-)
So here I am sitting at the office on a Wednesday night and penning err.. keying my thoughts. I actually spent twenty minutes thinking about what I would name this blog. All my bright ideas were already taken by someone else and for a moment I thought that I would name it as "No Name" but sadly - that was taken as well :-(
Was in the cafeteria sometime back and India has just won the second ODI against Pakistan at Abu Dhabi. The 2 match series ended at a score of 1-1. Is it just me or was this scoreline decided in advance?? Inzamam was run-out for probably the trillionth time in his career. . . . Has someone ever thought of awarding the poor guy a Guiness or atleast a Limca record for the highest number of run outs??
So, coming back to this blog, whats it gonna be about? Well stray words (& sentences & paragraphs) from my imagination, memory and basically anything that I come across. So if you don't have something better to do with your time, drop in........it won't hurt......much!!!
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